


Rosemary Flavors

by FunkMcLovin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, F/F, fankid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26595241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkMcLovin/pseuds/FunkMcLovin
Summary: Various AUs in which different Roses and Kanayas try to have children.Note: You can start from any chapter. Each flavor is standalone.Chapter 1: Canon Rose and Canon Kanaya as they appear at the end of HomestuckChapter 2: Species-swap- Troll Rose (Rhosze) and Human KanayaChapter 3: No Game, where Rose and Kanaya are normal humans on Earth
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. Rosemary Flavor: Vanilla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosemary Flavor: Vanilla
> 
> Canon Rose and Kanaya, as they appear on Earth C at the end of Homestuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Willow for the name "Rosa" and some lines.

"Rose? Rose?"

Kanaya's words fell on deaf ears. Rose stared at her breakfast- Eggs, bacon, staples of her human diet. Absolutely scrumptious, but her mind wasn't on consuming the meal, it was on something else. Something that had been weighing on her for days.

  
"Rose."

A particularly stern intonation from Kanaya roused Rose from her daydream.

"Yes, dear?" Rose replied, in a bewildered manner that didn't suit her at all. She gazed up at Kanaya's face- Grey and sharp, her wife's dark hair falling about those robust horns, curtaining two green eyes that Rose was at risk of losing herself in so soon after coming to.

"You've hardly eaten," Kanaya said, wounded. Kanaya prided herself on cooking human food. After all, it's not like Kanaya enjoyed the yolk of Earth poultry. Rose's black-painted lips curled into a smile.

"My apologies, Kanaya," she replied, more self-aware, now. "I was lost in thought."

Lost in thought wasn't somewhere Rose often found herself. Sure, she was calculating, but Kanaya didn't usually find herself outside her wife's thought processes. She wasn't a fan.

"Well?" Kanaya said expectantly, sitting across from Rose. "Let's hear what has you distracted."

Rose hesitated. It wasn't as though she didn't want Kanaya to know, it was more that she found her own thoughts somewhat embarrassing. She picked at her food, taking a slow, deep breath. She bit into the bacon with a crunch, eyes shifting, avoiding Kanaya's.

"You see," began Rose as she swallowed her paltry bite. "It's just that I've been thinking for a while about..." Rose trailed off. She could see Kanaya leaning forward in her chair with trepidation. If the topic were anything else, she'd appreciate how on-edge Kanaya seemed to be. "Motherhood," she finished, finally meeting Kanaya's green eyes. Kanaya didn't appear to quite know what to make of the word. After all, motherhood wasn't a familiar concept to most trolls. Kanaya, having lived with a human for most of her life knew what motherhood was, but she'd never thought about it in terms of her own spouse. Nor, she considered, herself.

"Motherhood," Kanaya repeated. She had to admit, she'd always been curious about motherhood. To her, the idea was novel. Raising a child cooperatively with another person. It seemed strange that no megafauna was involved in the process, but she did surmise that it was likely that she could fill the role.

"Yes," said Rose. She didn't know why, but she caught herself smiling. "I've been thinking about, specifically, well-" Once again, Kanaya's eyes were hard to meet. "-being one."

"A mother?" Kanaya clarified. She had a curious expression on her face, encouraging Rose to speak more.

"Yes. I think it would be lovely." Rose was surprised at her own sureness. Internally, the choice was more fraught, she'd been going back and forth on it now for a month. Seeing Kanaya, now, though, so eager and so clearly supportive, Rose could hardly keep her own wishes a secret any longer.

"I am afraid I'm unfamiliar with the concept, myself," Kanaya began, slowly. She put her hand on Rose's. For some reason, this made Rose's heart thud, her lips parting. "But I think since it is a normal part of the human life cycle, we should try it." Kanaya, too, sounded sure of herself. Rose appreciated how little she needed to speak in order for Kanaya to understand her. Kanaya cocked her head to the side, however, placing a finger to her chin. "Though I'm not familiar with how to, er-" Kanaya paused, choosing her words. "-get one."

Rose couldn't help but laugh. Her eyes shut and she laughed music, and Kanaya, though embarrassed, couldn't help but smile.

"What? I'm sure it's not as simple as Dave has told me," she said through her chuckles. "He said it involved waterfowl."

"Storks?" Rose snorted, steadying herself on the table. "Gods, no, nothing like that. No." She wiped a tear from her eye, but the truth of Kanaya's words sunk in. How WOULD they get a child, anyway? "Well, we are, shall we say, biologically incompatible," Rose said, musing, "So I suppose the ideal way to go about it would be to make an ecto-clone."

"Indeed," Kanaya agreed, "I'm familiar with the process, myself. We can get Karkat to help."

"Karkat?" Rose said, incredulous. Karkat was last on her list of friends who would be able to help with conception.

"Of course," Kanaya said. "He helped me with the genesis frog, of course."

\---

Karkat seemed surprisingly eager to help them. A week after their decision, the trio met at the nearest ecto-lab, an old, abandoned place, a remnant of the technology that the trolls rode in on inside the meteor. It was all a bit dusty for Rose's liking and when Karkat flipped the lights on, they flickered with the same ominous buzz that one might hear in a horror film. Karkat shared none of Rose's reservations.

"It's been a while since someone has requested my expertise," Karkat said, cracking his knuckles, sitting behind the controls like a veteran pilot in the cockpit of a plane. "You two came to the right place."

Rose and Kanaya held hands. They'd agreed to have a human child, as humans would be most ideal to raise in the environment they'd chosen, but they'd be including a part of Kanaya's genes in order to involve Kanaya in the process. It felt oddly momentous, and Karkat's enthusiasm was surprisingly welcome. He was already tapping buttons, bringing the machinery to life.

"Do we have to give a blood sample?" Rose asked, running a hand over a large glass tube as it filled with green paste. The tube was about the size of two people and another, identical one was next to it, also filling with green paste.

"Blood? Psh. No, that's barbaric. This process is MUCH more elegant," Karkat said haughtily. "All you have to do is locate a copy of the subject, make a pardox clone of them of ecto-slime, then regurgitate, coagulate, and combinify the slime into a NEW slurry with the combined DNA of the two or more hosts. It's totally simple!"

"Totally simple," Kanaya agreed sarcastically. On a screen, Karkat had pulled up a picture of Rose and Kanaya, a still image from a date they'd been on last week. The still frame depicted them holding hands, which, upon seeing the photo, they reached for the other to do.

"Will this... Take a while?" asked Rose, who was the more unfamiliar party.

"Nope!" said Karkat, and, as if on cue, on the round, concrete panel between the two goo-tubes, a baby zapped into existence. Upon existing, the baby blinked, looked from Rose to Kanaya, and began to wail.

"Dear god," Karkat said, covering his ears immediately. "What the fuck is wrong with it?!" Rose stepped forward, scooping up the sobbing infant, blinking in awe. It had her sandy blonde hair and its face looked just like hers. It was so sudden, Rose didn't have words. Kanaya stood behind Rose, similarly in awe. Karkat recoiled, ears plugged, one eye shut.

The new mothers, however, didn't hear the screaming. All they heard was a choir of angels as every mothering urge in their respective bodies were affirmed at once, together. Two different beings, of different species, brought together in an instant, by the zapping of a machine, brought togehter by an infant.

"A little Rose," Kanaya breathed, putting her hand on Rose's shoulder.

"A little us," Rose agreed. Tears pricked her eyes as she held the tiny baby, but soon, more practical instincts kicked in. She held out a hand to Karkat, snapping her fingers. "Blanket," she demanded. Grumbling, Karkat complied, and handed Rose a blanket, which she swaddled little Rose in. The baby seemed to calm down, its sobs and wails now downgraded to fussy whining.

"Yeah, kid, me too," said Karkat, peering down at the thing. "You guys are seriously going to raise this thing? Like, inside your house?" He seemed skeptical. Luckily for him, his job was finished. "What are you going to name it?"

"Rose Jr. seems a tad on the nose," said Rose, leaning against Kanaya gently. "How about... Rosa?"

"It's perfect," Kanaya said immediately. Of course, no matter what Rose had said, she would have responded the same. She kissed Rose's head, then leaned down to kiss her daughter's. Their daughter's.

  
\---

Of course, raising a child wasn't all sunshine and fuzzy feelings. The first years of Rosa's life went much like one might expect- First crying, then picky eating, then the terrors of potty training. Things weren't so insurmountable with a wife handy, so Rose and Kanaya found. Soon, Rosa was able to speak, and with that boon came the realization that she was just as snarky as one might expect the offspring of Rose and Kanaya to be. At the age of six, Rosa was proving to be quite the handful.

"She's finally in bed," Rose breathed, flopping down next to Kanaya, who was reading. Kanaya didn't envy Rose. Last night it had been her own turn to put Rosa to sleep, and often that task constituted several hours of impatient reading and glasses of water. Rose immediately cuddled next to Kanaya, groaning into her side. Kanaya set her book down, hugging Rose tightly.

"You did well, soldier," Kanaya said, cracking a smile, settling down from sitting to laying, facing her wife. "She is quite willful," she teased, tucking some hair behind Rose's ear. "Must be because she is 80% a clone of you."

Rose snorted, unable to keep from smiling, still shoving Kanaya playfully. She squeezed closer, unable to come up with a retort.

"She's far too much trouble," she said at last, sighing. "She's exactly the type of child that used to irritate me. She doesn't mind me when we go out and shouts far too much." Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. "She really should be more well-behaved. I don't know where she gets it. I was a quiet child."

Kanaya didn't mean to, but she snickered. Rose frowned, looking back at Kanaya. Kanaya hastened to correct herself.

"I don't mean to laugh, it's just that. Well. From what you tell me, you were similarly strong-willed when you were a child. Your mother was much more permissive."

Rose bristled, sitting up. Kanaya swallowed. She hadn't meant to, but she'd accidentally touched the mom button.

"I'm nothing like her," Rose said, voice rising a little. Kanaya raised a defensive hand, eyes wide. "Don't joke about that. You didn't know how she was. I'm a better mother than she could ever be." Rose's voice rose more, and Kanaya slid back, away from her wife. Sensing Kanaya's nerves, Rose sighed, slumping back down in bed, eyes closing.

"You're-" Kanaya spoke hesitantly after a long, silent moment. "You're right, Rose, you're not like your mother, but..." Kanaya put a gentle hand on Rose's shoulder. "You shouldn't compare yourself to her so much. You're not your mother and Rosa, despite the uncanny resemblance, isn't you."

"I'm sorry," Rose said, sounding tired again. Not tired from putting her daughter to bed, tired from thinking so hard. "You're... You're right, of course, Kanaya, but it's easy to say that, it's less easy to feel it. I know mother meant her best, I know I shouldn't compare myself but-" Rose looked up at Kanaya, cupping her cheek. "Can you just tell me I'm... better?"

"You're a better mother," Kanaya said, happy to oblige.

The tender moment was interrupted by a creak. Both women's hearts seized. That creak was tell-tale. Next would come that little voice.

"Mothers," said Rosa, standing in the doorway. It was uncanny that Rosa referred to them as "mother" at age six, even more so as she childishly clung to the arm of her stuffed rabbit. "I cannot sleep."

Rose sat up, her tone of voice shifting immediately into mom-mode, a gentle, patient, yet firm voice. A voice that was kind, but hid her intent. Kanaya called it Rose's "go the fuck to sleep" voice.

"I'll come in and read to you a little more, Rosa, why don't you- Oh."

To their surprise, Rosa climbed onto their queen bed, squeezing between them. She'd never done this before.

"I hear them," she said softly.

Rose and Kanaya exchanged a look.

"That's normal, dear. I heard the horrorterrors too, when I was your age. It's best to just-"

"Can I sleep with you?" Rosa asked. It was surprisingly straightforward for her. Rose glanced at Kanaya, then back to Rosa. "I'm at the age where I couldn't be smothered while you slept, after all," Rosa said. Rose blinked. A beat passed, and she laughed.

"You're right, I suppose," she said, pulling the covers over her wife and daughter. "Where did you learn something like that?"

"Don't be 'nave' mother," replied Rosa haughtily. She of course meant "naive" but she wasn't tripped up by her mistake. "Anyone can read things on the internet."

That seemed to be that. On the plus side, Rosa was out like a light. Rose, too, Kanaya noticed. The last thing Kanaya saw before she dozed off was her wife and daughter, uncannily similar, smiling as they slept.


	2. Rosemary Flavor: Species-Swap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2: SPECIES-SWAP AU:
> 
> Rhosze Lalond, jadeblooded troll, and Kanaya Maryam, human woman, decide to adopt a grub with an uncanny similarity to their friend Vriska.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Roxypop for the troll name for Rose.
> 
> Hello, WIH Stream!

"Rhosze? Rhosze?"

Kanaya's words fell on deaf ears. Rhosze stared at her breakfast- Grubs, still live, swimming in grub-sauce. Breakfast staples of her troll dieat. Absolutely scrumptious, but her mind wasn't on consuming the meal, it was on something else. Something that had been weighing on her for days.

  
"Rhosze."

A particularly stern intonation from Kanaya roused Rhosze from her daydream.

"Yes, dear?" Rhosze replied, in a bewildered manner that didn't suit her at all. She gazed up at Kanaya's face- Soft, coffee-colored, her moirail's dark hair peeking out from her hijab, curtaining two green eyes that Rhosze was at risk of losing herself in so soon after coming to.

"You've hardly eaten," Kanaya said, wounded. Kanaya prided herself on cooking troll food. After all, it's not like Kanaya enjoyed the weird Alternian bugs Rhosze ate. Rhosze's naturally black-colored lips curled into a smile.

"My apologies, Kanaya," she replied, more self-aware, now. "I was lost in thought."

Lost in thought wasn't somewhere Rhosze often found herself. Sure, she was calculating, but Kanaya didn't usually find herself outside her moirail's thought processes. She wasn't a fan.

"Well?" Kanaya said expectantly, sitting across from Rhosze. "Let's hear what has you distracted."

Rhosze hesitated. It wasn't as though she didn't want Kanaya to know, it was more that she found her own thoughts somewhat embarrassing. She picked at her food, taking a slow, deep breath. She bit into the grub with a squelch, eyes shifting, avoiding Kanaya's.

"You see," began Rhosze as she swallowed her paltry bite. "It's just that I've been thinking for a while about..." Rhosze trailed off. She could see Kanaya leaning forward in her chair with trepidation. If the topic were anything else, she'd appreciate how on-edge Kanaya seemed to be. "The mother grub," she finished, finally meeting Kanaya's green eyes. Kanaya didn't appear to quite know what to make of the word. After all, motherhood wasn't a familiar concept to most trolls. Kanaya, having lived with a human for most of her life knew what motherhood was, but she'd never thought about it in terms of her own spouse. Nor, she considered, herself.

"The mother grub," Kanaya repeated. She had to admit, she'd always been curious about that weird bug. To her, the idea was novel. Rhosze spent her days toiling in the broodcaverns, bringing troll progeny to life with her fellow jadebloods.  
"Yes," said Rhosze. She didn't know why, but she caught herself smiling. "I've been thinking about, specifically, well-" Once again, Kanaya's eyes were hard to meet. "-bringing a grub home."

"Bringing one home?" Kanaya said, brow quirking. She had a curious expression on her face, encouraging Rhosze to speak more.

"Yes. I think it would be lovely." Rhosze was surprised at her own sureness. Internally, the choice was more fraught, she'd been going back and forth on it now for a month. Seeing Kanaya, now, though, so eager and so clearly supportive, Rhosze could hardly keep her own wishes a secret any longer.

"It sounds familiar to the human process of adoption," Kanaya began, slowly. She put her hand on Rhosze's. For some reason, this made Rhosze's heart thud, her lips parting. "If you would like to bring home a grub, I would love to try to be its lusus with you." Kanaya, too, sounded sure of herself. Rhosze appreciated how little she needed to speak in order for Kanaya to understand her. Kanaya cocked her head to the side, however, placing a finger to her chin. "Though I'm not familiar with how to, er-" Kanaya paused, choosing her words. "-get one."

Rhosze couldn't help but laugh. Her eyes shut and she laughed music, and Kanaya, though embarrassed, couldn't help but smile.

"What? I'm sure it's not as simple as Karkat has told me," she said through her chuckles. "He said it involves a lot of slime."

"Genetic material?" Rhosze snorted, steadying herself on the table. "Gods, yes. Plenty of the stuff, as a matter of fact." She wiped a tear from her eye, but the truth of Kanaya's words sunk in. How WOULD they get a child, anyway? "Well, we are, shall we say, biologically incompatible," Rhosze said, musing, "I suppose the ideal way would be to choose a grub that a lusus wouldn't usually select."

"Indeed," Kanaya agreed, "It would be nice to give a home to a neglected grub."

\---

A week after their decision, the trio met at the nearest broodcavern, a dank, dark place, one Kanaya always felt a little skittish in. Nonetheless, it was Rhosze's place of work and she didn't want to act disgusted.

The walked together through aisles of grubs, held in small vats of sopor slime as they slept, kept safe before the lusus selection process. Kanaya found herself more at ease as they walked, holding her jadeblooded moirail's hand.

Rhosze and Kanaya held hands. They'd agreed to have a blueblood, as ceruleans would be most ideal to raise in the environment they'd chosen, and since they were the least difficult to raise without a lusus. It felt oddly momentous as they went from vat to vat, inspecting their little candidates. Rhosze's assistant, Swifer, attended them

"This one's proper healthy, ma'ams!" She said cheerfully, plucking a hissing wiggler from its vat. It had a broken horn, but otherwise seemed normal.

"No, no," Rhosze said, pushing the grub back into the fragrant ooze. "We're looking for one who no lusus would choose."

"Right-o, ma'am! Solid idea, so the little'un doesn't lay about in the caverns its whole grubhood." Swifer seemed enthusiastic about the idea, and it was infectious in a welcome way.

"What about this li'l tyke?" Swifer said, taking a grub from the slime. Unlike its peers, the little bug was tiny and didn't hiss at all at Swifer. "It was the runt of the blueblood clutch, y'see. Plus, it's well frightened of lusus. She's got special li'l powers that makes the beasts a-scared."

The wifes inspected the tiny wiggler. Its horns looked familiar, one pointed, the other in a claw-shape. Kanaya snorted, tickling the wiggler's belly.  
  
"This is Vriska, isn't it?" she said, amused. Rhosze laughed, putting her hands on her hips, taking the wiggler, cradling it to her chest.

"It most certainly is. She'll get a kick out of this. She can help the little one work out her eightfold eyes."

The duo looked down at the wiggler, who looked absolutely frightened. Swifer looked nervous that the frail little thing might be dropped.

The new mothers, however, didn't see the frail thing. All they heard was a choir of angels as every mothering urge in their respective bodies were affirmed at once, together. Two different beings, of different species, brought together in an instant, by the zapping of a machine, brought togehter by a tiny wiggler.

"A little Vriska," Kanaya breathed, putting her hand on Rhosze's shoulder.

"A little daughter," Rhosze agreed. Tears pricked her eyes as she held the tiny insect, but soon, more practical instincts kicked in. She held out a hand to Swifer, snapping her fingers. "Blanket," she demanded. Nodding eagerly, Swifer complied, and handed Rhosze a blanket, which she swaddled little Vriska in. The baby seemed to calm down, its sobs and wails now downgraded to fussy whining.

"Yeah, kid, me too," said Swifer, peering down at the thing. "You guys are seriously going to raise this thing? Like, inside your house?" She seemed skeptical. Luckily for her, her job was finished. "What are you going to name the wee tyke?"

"Vriska Jr. seems a tad on the nose," said Rhosze, leaning against Kanaya gently. "How about... Vrissy for short?"

"It's perfect," Kanaya said immediately. Of course, no matter what Rhosze had said, she would have responded the same. She kissed Rhosze's head, then leaned down to kiss her daughter's. Their daughter's.

  
\---

Of course, raising a child wasn't all sunshine and fuzzy feelings. The first years of Vriska's life went much like one might expect from a grub- First hissing, then picky eating, then the terrors of molting and shedding legs. Things weren't so insurmountable with a moirail handy, so Rhosze and Kanaya found. Soon, Vrissy was able to speak, and with that boon came the realization that she was just as stubborn and cunning as one might expect the genetic clone of Vriska to be. At the age of three sweeps, Vriska was proving to be quite the handful.

"She's finally in bed," Rhosze breathed, flopping down next to Kanaya, who was reading. Kanaya didn't envy Rhosze. Last night it had been her own turn to put Vriska to sleep, and often that task constituted several hours of recounting tales about Vriska Serket Sr. and several sopor slime refills. Rhosze immediately cuddled next to Kanaya, groaning into her side. Kanaya set her book down, hugging Rhosze tightly.

"You did well, my love," Kanaya said, cracking a smile, settling down from sitting to laying, facing her moirail. "She is quite the firecracker," she teased, tucking some hair behind Rhosze's ear. "We shall have to chastize Vriska Sr. for giving her her most troublesome genes."

Rhosze snorted, unable to keep from smiling, still shoving Kanaya playfully. She squeezed closer, unable to come up with a retort.

"She's far too much trouble," she said at last, sighing. "I never imagined lusii had it so hard. She doesn't mind me when we go out and shouts far too much." Rhosze pinched the bridge of her nose. "She really should be more well-behaved. I wish she wouldn't... Act out so much."

Kanaya nodded, sighing. She couldn't argue that Vrissy was a handful. She didn't say it, but she often had doubts that non-lusii could even possibly raise a wiggler properly.

"It seems so," Kanaya said, stretching. "It makes me wonder if wigglers have a place in the home. If we have our doubts, we could always send her to a lusus."

Rhosze bristled, sitting up. Kanaya swallowed. She hadn't meant to, but she'd accidentally touched the lusus button.

"I'm not going to give up so easily," Rhosze said, voice rising a little. Kanaya raised a defensive hand, eyes wide. "Don't joke about that. You and I are committed to this. Just because I'm not a human doesn't mean I cannot be a mother." Rhosze's voice rose more, and Kanaya slid back, away from her moirail. Sensing Kanaya's nerves, Rhosze sighed, slumping back down in bed, eyes closing.

"You're-" Kanaya spoke hesitantly after a long, silent moment. "You're right, Rhosze, I didn't mean we should really give her up, but..." Kanaya put a gentle hand on Rhosze's shoulder. "You shouldn't be so stressed, really. You're the first troll to ever try this in the history of Earth C or Alternia."

"I'm sorry," Rhosze said, sounding tired again. Not tired from putting her daughter to bed, tired from thinking so hard. "You're... You're right, of course, Kanaya, but it's easy to say that, it's less easy to feel it. I know we'll be good parents, I know I shouldn't feel so much pressure, just-" Rhosze looked up at Kanaya, cupping her cheek. "Can you just tell me I'm... a good human mom?"

"You're a good human mom," Kanaya said, happy to oblige.

The tender moment was interrupted by a creak. Both women's hearts seized. That creak was tell-tale. Next would come that little voice.

"Yo, moms," said Vriska, standing in the doorway. It was uncanny that Vriska referred to them so casually at age three, even more so as she childishly clung to the arm of her stuffed spider. "Don't be so loud. You're the ones who wanted to put me to sleep so bad."

Rhosze sat up, her tone of voice shifting immediately into mom-mode, a gentle, patient, yet firm voice. A voice that was kind, but hid her intent. Kanaya called it Rhosze's "go the fuck to sleep" voice.

"I'll come in and read to you a little more, Vrissy, why don't you- Oh."

To their surprise, Rosa climbed onto their queen bed, squeezing between them. She'd never done this before.

"I'm getting the nightmares," she said softly.

Rhosze and Kanaya exchanged a look.

"That's normal, dear. All trolls your age get the nightmares. Just make sure to sleep with enough sopor to-"

"Can I sleep with you?" Vrissy asked. It was surprisingly straightforward for her. Rhosze glanced at Kanaya, then back to Vriska. "The sopor doesn't work but when I'm with you guys my nightmares aren't as bad," Vrissy said. Rhosze blinked. A beat passed, and she laughed.

"Really?" she said, pulling the covers over her moirail and daughter. "I always thought sopor slime was the only way to keep them away."

"Heh. I must be a genus, then," replied Rosa haughtily. She of course meant "genius," but she wasn't tripped up by her mistake. "You guys shouldn't boss me around so much."

That seemed to be that. On the plus side, Vriska was out like a light. Rhosze, too, Kanaya noticed. The last thing Kanaya saw before she dozed off was her moirail and daughter, the pair Kanaya loved the most in the world, smiling as they slept.


	3. Rosemary Flavor: No Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosemary Flavor: No Game
> 
> A no game AU where Rose and Kanaya are both human and have a human daughter.

"Rose? Rose?"

Kanaya's words fell on deaf ears. Rose stared at her breakfast- A stack of pancakes, Rose's favorite flavor. Breakfast staples of their diet. Absolutely scrumptious, but her mind wasn't on consuming the meal, it was on something else. Something that had been weighing on her for days.

"Rose."

A particularly stern intonation from Kanaya roused Rose from her daydream.

"Yes, dear?" Rose replied, in a bewildered manner that didn't suit her at all. She gazed up at Kanaya's face- Soft, coffee-colored, her wife's dark hair peeking out from her hijab, curtaining two green eyes that Rose was at risk of losing herself in so soon after coming to.

"You've hardly eaten," Kanaya said, wounded. Kanaya prided herself on cooking.. After all, it had taken a while of being married to get used to cooking food they both liked. Rose's black-painted lips curled into a smile.

"My apologies, Kanaya," she replied, more self-aware, now. "I was lost in thought."

Lost in thought wasn't somewhere Rose often found herself. Sure, she was calculating, but Kanaya didn't usually find herself outside her wife's thought processes. She wasn't a fan.

"Well?" Kanaya said expectantly, sitting across from Rose. "Let's hear what has you distracted."

Rose hesitated. It wasn't as though she didn't want Kanaya to know, it was more that she found her own thoughts somewhat embarrassing. She picked at her food, taking a slow, deep breath. She bit into the buttery hotcake, eyes shifting, avoiding Kanaya's.

"You see," began Rose as she swallowed her paltry bite. "It's just that I've been thinking for a while about..." Rose trailed off. She could see Kanaya leaning forward in her chair with trepidation. If the topic were anything else, she'd appreciate how on-edge Kanaya seemed to be. "Motherhood," she finished, finally meeting Kanaya's green eyes. Kanaya didn't appear to quite know what to make of the word. After all, motherhood wasn't a concept that came up often between the duo. Kanaya, having lived with a Rose for years, now, had always assumed Rose didn't want children, and she was perfectly content with that assumed decision herself, not that it was unwelcome, now that Rose mentioned it.

"Motherhood," Kanaya repeated. She had to admit, she'd always been curious about motherhood. Years ago, before her transition, she had frozen a sample of her sperm, after all. She was glad, suddenly, that it was still on-hand.  
"Yes," said Rose. She didn't know why, but she caught herself smiling. "I've been thinking about, specifically, well-" Once again, Kanaya's eyes were hard to meet. "-having a baby."

"Having a baby?" Kanaya said, eyes widening. She didn't know how good that sound was to hear until she'd heard it.

"Yes. I think it would be lovely." Rose was surprised at her own sureness. Internally, the choice was more fraught, she'd been going back and forth on it now for a month. Seeing Kanaya, now, though, so eager and so clearly supportive, Rose could hardly keep her own wishes a secret any longer.

"Rose, I-" Kanaya began, slowly. She put her hand on Rose's. For some reason, this made Rose's heart thud, her lips parting. "I would love for you to have my child." Kanaya, too, sounded sure of herself. Rose appreciated how little she needed to speak in order for Kanaya to understand her. Kanaya's eyes pricked and she had to stifle tears. "I'll call the bank today. I cannot wait."

Rose couldn't help but laugh. Her eyes shut and she laughed music, and Kanaya, though embarrassed, couldn't help but smile.

"What will they do, anyway?" Rose said through her chuckles. "Do they just retrieve your sample and... What, dump it in?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Kanaya snorted, steadying herself on the table. "Goodness, I hope that's not what happens. I'm sure it's more precise than that." She wiped a tear from her eye, but the truth of Rose's words sunk in. How WOULD they get a child, anyway? "Well," Rose said, musing, "I suppose there is only one way to find out."

"Indeed," Kanaya agreed, "I'm glad that my foresight can be put to good use at last."

\---

Nine months after their decision, the duo found themselves being rushed through the halls of a hospital, Rose in a wheelchair, panting and heaving. Hours before, Rose's water had broken, and since then, Kanaya had felt nothing but abject panic. Nonetheless, it was time, and Kanaya had to be strong. After all, she wasn't the one carrying the load in her stomach.

They rushed along with the nurses to a sterile room. Kanaya felt them bustling around, but she only had eyes for her wife, clinging to Rose's hand as Rose panted, forehead slick with sweat.

Rose and Kanaya clutched hands. The baby until now, had been healthy, but that was little comfort to Rose, whose contractions were now causing her to cry out with groans of torment. It was very alarming to Kanaya, no matter how many tapes on the subject the duo had watched together.

"Alright, Rose, please push," said one Nurse. Rose braced herself, teeth gritting, eyes squeezing shut. Kanaya's hand was going numb but she didn't care.

"This is-" Rose panted, growling out another tense, laborious moan. "-fucking bullshit."

The nurses seemed amused by Rose's manner, and to Kanaya, it was oddly comforting. She loved Rose, and they'd both known this step was coming, but experiencing it was still upsetting. Kanaya felt a little guilty. She, after all, had not been subjected to all this for nine months. She vowed to be the one to offer to change all the diapers.

Rose, on the other hand, didn't have the peace of mind to think ahead. Her body was on fire, and it felt impossible that the load she'd been carrying for three trimesters would somehow exit her body, but the nurses seemed to think it would. Rose looked at Kanaya, then hastily looked away. Kanaya looked far too terrified to be of any help, right now.

"One more push, Rose," the nurse said, and with a deafening silence, Rose stopped screaming. She immediately felt lighter, like air, and the silence was soon filled with a child's howling.

Rose just sat there, panting, unable to articulate anything but exhaustion. A nurse proudly handed Rose the tiny baby, dark wisps of hair on its crying face. 

"A little use," Kanaya breathed, putting her hand on Rose's shoulder, shaking.

"A little daughter," Rose agreed, breathlessly, holding the baby weakly in her arms. Tears pricked her eyes as she held the tiny creature, but soon, more practical instincts kicked in. The nurse held out a hand to an assistant, snapping her fingers. 

"Blanket," she demanded. Nodding quickly, the nurse complied, and handed Rose a blanket, which she swaddled the little thing in. The baby seemed to calm down, its sobs and wails now downgraded to fussy whining.

"Yeah, kid, me too," said the nurse, peering down at the thing. "You guys are lucky." She said, using a rag to wipe her hands clean. Luckily for her, her job was finished. "What are you going to name the little girl?"

"Rose Jr. seems a tad on the nose," said Rose, leaning against Kanaya gently. "How about... Tulip?"

"It's perfect," Kanaya said immediately. Of course, no matter what Rose had said, she would have responded the same. She kissed Rose's head, then leaned down to kiss her daughter's. Their daughter's.

  
\---

Of course, raising a child wasn't all sunshine and fuzzy feelings. The first years of Tulip's life went much like one might expect- First crying, then picky eating, then the terrors of potty training. Things weren't so insurmountable with a wife handy, so Rose and Kanaya found. Soon, Tulip was able to speak, and with that boon came the realization that she was surprisingly cheerful and curious. She resembled Roxy more than Rose, and indeed, Tulip delighted in seeing "Auntie Rox" whenever she visited.

"She's finally in bed," Rose breathed, flopping down next to Kanaya, who was reading. Kanaya didn't envy Rose. Last night it had been her own turn to put Tulip to sleep, and often that task constituted several hours of impatient reading and trips to the bathroom. Rose immediately cuddled next to Kanaya, groaning into her side. Kanaya set her book down, hugging Rose tightly.

"You did well, soldier," Kanaya said, cracking a smile, settling down from sitting to laying, facing her wife. "She is quite energetic," she teased, tucking some hair behind Rose's ear. "I don't know where she gets it from spinsters like us."

Rose snorted, unable to keep from smiling, still shoving Kanaya playfully. She squeezed closer, unable to come up with a retort.

"At least we know she's healthy," she said at last, sighing. "She's exactly the type of child that used to irritate me. She's curious and she runs off too much. I wish she'd mind me more." Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. "She really should be more well-behaved. I don't know where she gets it. I was a quiet child."

Kanaya didn't mean to, but she snickered. Rose frowned, looking back at Kanaya. Kanaya hastened to correct herself.

"I don't mean to laugh, it's just that. Well. From what you tell me, she's quite similar to your own mother."

Rose bristled, sitting up. Kanaya swallowed. She hadn't meant to, but she'd accidentally touched the mom button.

"That's not funny," Rose said, voice rising a little. Kanaya raised a defensive hand, eyes wide. "Don't joke about that. You didn't know how she was. I'm a better mother than she could ever be." Rose's voice rose more, and Kanaya slid back, away from her wife. Sensing Kanaya's nerves, Rose sighed, slumping back down in bed, eyes closing.

"You're-" Kanaya spoke hesitantly after a long, silent moment. "You're right, Rose, you're not like your mother, but..." Kanaya put a gentle hand on Rose's shoulder. "You shouldn't compare yourself to her so much. You're not your mother and Tulip, despite the uncanny resemblance, isn't her."

"I'm sorry," Rose said, sounding tired again. Not tired from putting her daughter to bed, tired from thinking so hard. "You're... You're right, of course, Kanaya, but it's easy to say that, it's less easy to feel it. I know mother meant her best, I know I shouldn't compare myself but-" Rose looked up at Kanaya, cupping her cheek. "Can you just tell me I'm... better?"

"Of course you're a better mother," Kanaya said, happy to oblige.

The tender moment was interrupted by a creak. Both women's hearts seized. That creak was tell-tale. Next would come that little voice.

"Mommy? Mom?" said Tulip, standing in the doorway. It was uncanny that Tulip had two different names for the both of them at the age of six. She stood, big eyes worried, clutching her stuffed rabbit. "It's scary in my room."

Rose sat up, her tone of voice shifting immediately into mom-mode, a gentle, patient, yet firm voice. A voice that was kind, but hid her intent. Kanaya called it Rose's "go the fuck to sleep" voice.

"I'll come in and read to you a little more, Tulip, why don't you- Oh."

To their surprise, Tulip climbed onto their queen bed, squeezing between them. She'd never done this before.

"I'm worried about monsters," she said softly.

Rose and Kanaya exchanged a look.

"That's normal, dear, but I've told you, monsters are a figment of the collective consciousness, you really should-"

"Can I sleep with you?" Tulip asked. It was surprisingly straightforward for her. Rose glanced at Kanaya, then back to Tulip. "I know that monsters aren't real, but... Just in case?" Tulip said. Rose blinked. A beat passed, and she laughed.

"You're right, I suppose," she said, pulling the covers over her wife and daughter. "You're still young."

"Maybe there are monsters, I'm just the first girl to see 'em!" said Tulip, brightly, her fear evaporating.

"Just to be safe, tomorrow I'll teach you spells to get rid of them," Rose said, ruffling Tulips hair. Tulip beamed, nodding quickly.

That seemed to be that. On the plus side, Tulip was out like a light. Rose, too, Kanaya noticed. The last thing Kanaya saw before she dozed off was her wife and daughter, breathing in unison, smiling as they slept.


End file.
